Any Single moms? My ex is "babysitting" for me next week, but his wife may not like it...

Quick cliff note… ex husband and I get a long well… We have a good ex relationship. He lives in NY… Got re-married in may — she's super nice — kids seem to like her… all is well. There couldn't be LESS issue between he and I and I'm grateful every day for that...

With that said, he comes next week to visit the kids… He's here working for a week and then on Friday, his wife arrives and they are taking kids for the weekend to Disney Land… TUESDAY… I got offered a chance to go to a concert — and I asked him, since he was local but not keeping them over night if he could stay with them here, until I got home… and he said sure.. 

Awesome… Then I thought… Hmph… let's make sure he runs that by his wife… who even though she knows how we all are together, I'm pretty sure she may not want him in his ex's home late… It's awkward… it's weird. I get it… I was the new step mom once too and it was HARD...

BUT, it's really none of my business what he does. So if he wants to ask her then he should make that choice right? I shouldn't have to say, Hey… ask your wife first.. 

That's their business right? 

It may seem strange that I would even be concerned with a new wife's feelings and to be honest, I'm really not EXCEPT that if she feels threatened or jealous in ANY way, she could take it out on my kids… my kids are ME… they look like me, act like me… they are me… that's hard to see your new husband doting on two kids that come from another woman… it just is… again, I've been there… SO, my goal is to make sure she does NOT have any issues… so that all stays hunky dory… And my kids stay in a healthy environment… Right? Cause I gotta say, if she so much says anything to them out of her insecurity, shit will go down.. 

So, I feel right in making sure that he's checking in with his wife… Just because he and I have no issue… we've been doing this for a while… she hasn't… OR should I just shut up and let him handle his own wife?

We aren't that close btw… not like a buddy close… But we are close and respectful for the kids... 

    8Theresa Gould
    I have no idea what is the right thing to do, never having been in that situation, but I hope it all works out well and you all enjoy the weekend events!
      I would never even THINK to say anything... except.. my kids went to Texas for a week over the summer, their Grandma came to get them and I flew to pick them up and bring them home... to save money, their Grandma (Ex's mom) asked if I wouldn't mind flying out two days later... SO, I was offered to stay with my ex's in law's for two nights... before we came back... I called my ex to make sure that was okay with HIM and I said, you know... you may wanna run it by your wife.. Now understand... I'm not a bossy person, I said it in a playful, jokey... mind your woman way... cause he kind of f'd it up with me when I was in her position... And he laughed and said, your'e right.. and called me the next day... all was fine...
      BUT.... for my son's Birthday, I'm taking him to Legoland... and I asked his dad if they wanted to go while they were here. and he asked if my boyfriend was coming and that would make is wife more comfortable... So, though I didn't ask anything further... it gave me the feeling that maybe something came up...
      I don't want any strife or drama... Anywhere with my kids..

      Long story short... and just so I'm clear.. I would never tell him what to do with his wife... ever... I'm just trying to be respectful to everyone and take care of my kids... All I said, is "there's a concert, why don't you think it over, talk it out with your wife and lemme know tomorrow?"

      He's watching them, but isn't staying over with them (I WAS going to stay out all night) - so they clearly talked and worked it out...

      I'm not interested in their business... at all. I AM interested in my kids though... if there's drama or tension.. they feel it... This ain't my first rodeo... BUT, I'm going to do it right this time...

      Thank you everyone!!!!
      About Jessica
      Born: Novato, California
      Current: Sherman Oaks, California
      Birth: May 28
      On since: Aug 5, 2013
      We live in Los Angeles, CA. I'm a writer, comedian, actor and single mom of two. Parenting is hard. I try to keep a sense of humor about it all and find the find the funny... in what is most likely NOT funny (i.e. boogers, meltdowns, homework, etc.).